My labour and delivery story for my baby girl, Asara – October 2019.
I can’t believe my baby was born almost 3 months ago and I’m still editing drafts to get this blog post finished. Well go figure, it’s the sign of how busy a mum really is not only to a toddler but now a newborn too.
My beautiful baby girl was born on 17th October 2019 at 11:56am. Surprisingly she was even quicker than her brother was: 1 hour and 56 minutes in active labour.
I hands down give it up to all mothers who go through labour. No matter how easy or hard it may seem to you, it’s a fucking beautiful painful experience.
For those who are new to my blog, I have a two and a half-year-old son Mason, who was born in July 2017. We fell pregnant again when Mason was 6 months old. It was planned and we were over the moon. I was 12 weeks into my pregnancy and we just flew back from visiting our family in New Zealand. We had a missed-miscarriage. Meaning my body did not process the miscarriage. Fast forward to when we were ready to try again…
We starting trying for Asara in September 2018 (5 months after we lost our angel baby) and we weren’t getting pregnant. So come January 2019 we decided to stop trying and get married. We had been together for 9 years, we have a child and a business together and had been engaged for a year. So we went for it. I bought my wedding dress in February and days later, my mum told me to go take a pregnancy test. I was like “What? Why?” – she said, “because you’ve been put off your morning breakfast, you’ve been sick lately and I have been listening to you tell me this day after day”. I thought I couldn’t be. We stopped trying and was being “careful”. Turns out my mother was right. I was full-blown, quickest pregnancy test response, shocked to my core, PREGNANT! I was so fucking happy.
So off we went to get married, many many dress alternation appointments later and careful planning (don’t fucking over eat Charlotte! AKA lay off the biscuits) We did it! With our precious baby girl in my tummy, at 17 weeks pregnant.
We returned home from our wedding and 3 weeks later we had our 20-week pregnancy scan. It was the draining type. Literally 3 hours. We got taken to a room after our appointment, the Dr came in to address my husband and I sat us down and explained what they had found in the scan. It wasn’t clear exactly what happened and it wasn’t clear moving forward what the outcome would be for our baby girl.
We had our baby shower the following day, we still went through with it and we kept an open positive mind. But it was extremely hard to keep a brave face. As soon as I found out I was having a girl everything went out the window. I forgot about the scan, I forgot about the possibilities of the outcome from this isolated finding on her left arm and just celebrated that I was having my own little girl. It was at that moment that I knew she would be ok. She had to be.
After many hospital appointments and even to this day (3 months postpartum) they still don’t know what caused or how to name her isolated limb abnormality. It is stated on her birth and delivery notes as “deformation” and I hate that word. I just roll my eyes when they say that. She’s not deformed. She’s fucking amazing and she won’t be “named” as anything but herself. All that matters is that we are on the right path to give her the best, and so we are. I will post a blog on how she is going later.
We had scans every 2-3 weeks to keep an eye on her growth as I had a shelf. The shelf like a hammock which was connected from the bottom part of my placenta and stretched across my uterus connecting to the other side. This was fearful to me as it can lead to complications and at this point, I had enough blows, I just wanted my baby here safely. Again I stayed positive and kept moving. We had two emergency runs to the hospital for fetal movement and they happily scanned me to show me she was okay. I was extremely grateful for those scans when I needed to see her.
I was starting to have contractions, way too early. 32 weeks early. Oh, it’s just Braxton hicks people would say. Luckily the girls in ED told me these were coming and going like labor was coming. I had a swob test and there was no sign I was dilating so they sent me home. I was watched and monitored enough during this pregnancy so I finished work up earlier than I wanted to, put my feet up and forced myself to rest. I was told if I didn’t I could more than likely deliver her too soon. So I listened, I just wanted her to arrive safely. My mind went through so much during those last few weeks. It was a fucking shit show in there. I had to stay grounded and not lose my mind. The one thing I did was just watch my son. If he was on the floor playing with his cars I would be. I embedded myself into him to slow me down and stop overthinking. It distracted me and it actually taught me a lot about my son. He would kiss my belly, he would hug it, he would look at me and I just remember how much love I felt in those moments.
Fast forward to 39 weeks pregnant, 8am I’m waking up. I had a stretch and sweep 5 days earlier (because my scan showed she was in the higher percentile for weight and size – mind-you, my son was born on 37 weeks at only 3.1kg completely healthy) so I was experiencing these pains and over the last few days they would settle as soon as I did my first-morning wee. Not this time.
830am I went downstairs, had breakfast with my mother and son (who had flown over from NZ to be with me, thank you Mummy) and we were having a conversation and all she kept focusing on was my breathing. She told me to start timing the contractions. I was like “No Mum, they will probably go soon”. Yeah, starting fucking timing them Charlotte haha. The midwife told me previously with my pains to have a hot shower, if they subside you’re not going into labour, if they last through a hot shower and heat pack, you’re going into labour. So Mum came into the bathroom with me while I had my last shower. She was timing them and fucked that up haha but it was enough for us to know okay this is really happening. I got out of the shower, mum told my husband, get ready you are having a baby today!
I remember around 9:30am I called my midwife told her my contractions where around 20-30 seconds every 4-5 minutes, she wanted them to be lasting just slightly longer before I headed in. I knew with my son I laboured a lot at home, and I prefer that but not to the point where you don’t make it to the hospital because I would FREEEEEEEAK.
So 9:45am they changed like that. Lasting 40 seconds every 2-3 minutes now. Now we are running for the car. My husband is upstairs blow-drying his hair! You’ve got to be kidding me. And they give me shit about getting ready?
Hahaha
We run out the door, kissing our son a million times and saying while running, Mummy and Daddy will see you after work! Love you!
We got into the car, my husband is a superstar he got me there in one piece, well-done baby 🙂 Again like with my son, we enter the hospital and I feel a sense of “fuck this is happening, NOW”. I didn’t have time to sign in or give my details, they rushed me to a room. My midwife was seeing a patient on the top floor and I had another lady with me till she arrived. I was so out of place I just wanted my clothes off and fast. I excused myself to the midwife like they hadn’t seen a naked pregnant bitch before. I was starting to get worried. I was in a lot of pain and we just arrived. And when I say a lot of pain I mean I need to push pain. They got the bathroom set up for me (it was my go-to since it helped with my son’s delivery). The big foam mat is on the floor of the bathroom, I’ve got a massive exercise ball I’m leaning over rocking myself back and forward. The hot water from two shower heads is aimed right on my lower back (where I get most of my pain during labour – don’t even think of putting me on my back). All I kept thinking was this fucking water is running and its been 30 minutes! I honestly was worried about that but I told myself your giving birth, drug-free. Does the water cost cover an epidural? Probably haha fuck sakes Charlotte.
My midwife arrives and I was so happy to see her face. I felt secure and safe. She knew my pregnancy, she knew my concerns and we had a plan in place in case this shelf/placenta delivery went left. I finally got gas and air and reminded myself to use it wisely. With my son, I used it to the point that I sounded like a man. It was fucking embarrassing. My midwife told me don’t push Charlotte as she’s running in. Seconds later, “okay Charlotte we are going to deliver this baby!”.
My husband ran for my phone, put it up high so I wasn’t visually shocked and made it back to let me rip the shit out of his shoulder. Two painful contractions passed and her head was out of the ring of fire, I honestly was thinking fuck, she’s not out, omg I have to push again! (my son just came out like a slimy worm in one go). Screaming and all, on the next contraction my baby girl was out, we did it.
I’ve got a clip of me holding Asara for the first time seconds after she was born. It wasn’t until I looked back and watched it that I realised, the pain I just wiped off my mind from holding her for the first time.
I had an injection seconds after she was born to get the placenta working to be delivered. I requested delayed cord-clamping and just sat with my baby for those minutes resting with each other. My husband and midwife helped me up off the floor as I kept Asara tight to my chest. I forgot about the cord, whoops, felt that one. It was fine haha. We made it to the bed and once I laid down on my bed I had a few emotions, I was over the moon that I just birthed my baby, I was exhausted and emotional that she was delivered safely and I thanked God straight away. Wherever he was and whatever he was doing, he made sure we got this win. Thank you for my beautiful baby girl. I then got told 20 minutes later I needed to go sign in to the hospital and bring my medicare card with me. Off I go in my robe, walking through the hospital. I nodded at the receptionist as she last saw me in pain leaning on the counter not replying to her when asking me my details. It was like seeing her on the other side.
Stay tuned for my baby girl’s 3-month update. I will let you know how she’s been going, how I’ve adjusted with two and an update on her left arm. Thank you for reading all the way through my labour story. xx
